Alex Thorley Permashifts out of Their DR (2024)

• rating:+28+–x

  

  close

  Info

  X

  Alex Thorley Permashifts out of Their DR
  All errors in this article are of my own
  https://www.flickr.com/photos/64607715@N05/7180709208
  https://www.flickr.com/photos/31290768@N06/3599135900
  https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=88323677
  https://www.flickr.com/photos/22490717@N02/12727402354

  Song in the video is the first 19 seconds of *Agnes and Hilda* by Patricia Taxxon, licensed under CC-BY-SA 3.0

  rating:+28+–x

Alex Thorley, of "Unreality Department" fame, hears voices when they dip into the rivers of sleip.

Of course it's their voice — they wouldn't be noting this down otherwise, since that's more in the purview of Tactical Theology.

The voices are what you hear before you sleep (if you do sleep) — remember that time one of your future past perfect boyfriends tried kissing you, until you went "nope nope nope" and dipped out of the party to drink a little bit of Soju? Remember when your department supervisor, of whose name is John Doe, went "nope nope nope" and dipped out of the party to drink a little bit of Soju? Remember when you dipped out of another party going "nope nope nope" to drink another bottle of Soju Melon Flavour With Yakult and Chicharong Bulaklak Along With A Side Of Jane Buck?

Yeah, those thoughts.

Sometimes, however, they will awaken with a sheet of Plexiglass (trademarked) covering their entire body, a Sheet of Plexiglass (trademarked) Covered Upon Their Body Making Them Unable To Move Yet Also Enabling Them To Move Like IT wasn't there. This Sheet Of Plexiglass Makes You Move Like Normal, Only It Does Exist IN THAT State Where Plexiglass Does, Where Plexiglass Slightly Bends The Light Around It To Turn It Into a Slight Mess That You Can Feel, Yet Does and Does Not Be There, if you get me. You Do, get me? You do.

Thorley's friends at the Unreality Department, of "Unreality Department" fame, tell them it's probably nothing, but Thorley Worries That It IS in fact A Thing That Does Happen To Non-Normal People. Sometimes they ground themselves (physically) (mentally as well, now that You think about it) (oh and spiritually as well) on This World Of Yours Where The Plexiglass Permeates Throughout The Papiere Mache of the world.

Maybe they're just dehydrated.

Or hungry. You hear that hunger can make you a different person.

Oh, hey. Welcome back, Voices Of The River Sleep, what do you offer this time?

Thanks, River Sleipnir Voices.

Thorleye awakens with the Plexiglass (not trademarked, remember) covering their body, the Present Plexiglass (not trademarked) that makes You Both Unable To Connect Like A Lego But Also Extremely Mobile And Able to Statically Link To Other Libraries. This Present Plexiglass (not trademarked), different from the Previous Plexiglass (is trademarked) that makes You Able To Connect Like A Duplex But Also Extremely Static And Able to Dynamically Link To Other Libraries In Violation of the AGPL 2.0, has a little sheen to it, making you (Thorleye, not You you) feel just a little bit warmer inside yourself. It's part of the bonus insurance package that insurance company of Insurance Company With A Jewish Surname fame provides.

Thorley awakens without the Plexiglass this time, but Maybe Next Time. They hope that it doesn't happen again, the Plexiglass really hampers their work in Unreality Department of Unreality Department "fame".

You walk down the Unreality Department of "Unreality Department" fame, carrying the Previous Plexiglass (not tradmark) to the Unreality Department of "Unreality Department" fame. That Melon-Flavoured Soju With A Side of Chicharong Bituka And John Doe in the canteen looks enticing, doesn't it. Better save that for December Christmas Party. Like How Thorley Would Do It, I Think. The klaxon alarms blares at the sight of You. Man, this always happens. You Turn Around And Encounter Your Best Friend Thorely And They Destroy the Klaxons And Both Of You Become Best Of Freinds Now.

Meanwhile, Thorley (your baby, your friend, your real and true friend) always passes through the Plexiglass (trademarked) section in the Lowe's Hardware Store. Unlike the Plexiglass (trandmarnked) they carry around everyday, the Flexible Yet Inflexible Yet Also Transparent Yet Also Also Opaque Flexiplexitrihelicallycongugatedandsmexy-glass (trademarkde), this Plexiglass (trademarked) Isn't. Uh. That. The Flexiplexitrihelicallycongugatedandsmexy-glass (trandmarnked) Is Scared Of The Thorley Inside Of You. I Think. Or Maybe it's just scared of Thorley's bank account and wallet being empty, as they stare at the singular Fly that appears out of their wallet. These December parties are getting more and more expensive the more Decembers that roll around. They hope that upper management approves of their budget request for a Soju Melon Flavour and some balloons as well. Maybe even deer feed.

Hey, did you know that the chemical structure of Plexiglass (trademarked) makes it so that it doesn't shatter into a million pieces when placed under intense pressure? Isn't that impressive? Sometimes Plexiglass (trademarked) is often confused with acrylic (not Tradmarkd, will never be trademarked), but in actuality, they are the same Product. Isn't that impressive? Did you know that acrylic is made with the same substance super glue is made out of, unlike Plexiglass (trademarked), which is made out of Oh hey, Voices of the Sleep River, what brings hath you gifts in this realm of Consciousness inbetwixt Reason, Madness, and Trains?

Yeah, thanks.

Oh, hi. Welcome Back Thorley.

How was the Plexiglass Isolation Training Regiment? Was it good? Were you a good boy (gender neutral)? Oh, sorry, right. Were tu a Good girl (gender neutral)? Yeah, same Anyway, back to Plexiglass Did you know that Plexiglass has a structure that makes it so that when it cracks, it doesn't shatter like glass, but it keeps itself together? Interesting isn't it? DId you know that Plexiglass (trademarked) when its skeletal structure is shifted some seven degrees south it silently slithers somewhere so superiorily Singaporean? Interesting, isn't it? Didn't You Know that Plexiglass is one of my Where Are You Going :( Why are You Leaving Me.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Plexiglass.

Flexiplexiglass.

Thorley.

Trust me.

Me and Thorley.

:)

Hey, can I sit beside you Thorley?

What?

I have to return to my actual dimension?

I need to stop shifting?

Can you humour me here?

Yeah?

Thanks.

Can I place my head on your shoulders? My furry, definitely not furry head (Thorley, let me have this one, please), resting on your shoulders?

My furry, definitely not furry head, with a little snout, wet nose, and cute little ears that you are trying not to hold, imagining how you would feel imagining petting my fluffy ears, having my head on your shoulders, you patting my head (like an ouppy) as the Flexiplexiglass shatters into Normal Plexiglass?

Can I at least humour the thought of Plexiglass, with the beautiful shatter marks it does when broken, transforming into Various Sockets That Let You Penetrate A Network Safely? When the plexiglass's structure breaks, and it shatters in a million pieces under your diamond-cobalt tipped hammer and sickle and battering ram, transforming the shards into A Million Metasploitable Artifacts Ready To Be Dissected And FTK Imaged Into A Parseable Whole? Making me Into A Disk Image Clone That Is Both Perfect Yet Can Never Capture The World?

Can you collar me, trap me inside a Plexiglass cage as well, to be gawked and sneered at, but also kept between my side?

Can I hold you now?

Thanks.

I wish you were real.

Yeah, me too Thorley. Maybe I'm not real in your world and you're not in mine

Terrifying, isn't it?

Sorry I'm like this.

Oh hi, Voices of the River Sleep.

"So"

"Are you"

"Going back"

"To your"

"World, now?"

Yeah, I think I am.

Thanks for humouring me.

<3